> And it was the crux of my rage and unhappiness for a long time.
I hear you sister. I haven't gotten over the fact that the loving husband never proposed to me. There's a few other things too, but it's with the mil.
Anyway, I think I'd have envied you a year ago. In 2005, three times I considered moving. Yes, to Iraq. For a new life experience. To leave my loving husband and a happy home life, indeed a "just married" life and searching for our first house together. Because I'm an experience-whore. And Iraq sounded just professionally intense and emotionally significant. So who doesn't want to tell their grandkids "you know, I've lived all over the world".... or at least, "a lot of places in the world".
After having lived in Denmark and in Spain, and travelling in Europe, I know that travelling somewhere is so different from living there. The latter makes for an authentic experience, the former makes for only an authentic travel experience. To make a life someplace challenging, to challenge oneself daily through the most mundane things, and to truly experience Korean grocery stores and entertainment - not just the centuries old stuff the tourism industry displays. That is what elevates the true understanding of the world around us methinks.
Another thought that comes to mind is the similarity between your thoughts on moving to relationships. People choose their partners in 2 different ways. They either choose their spouses based on how they confirm each other, or for the way they challenge each other (let's just ignore that boring combination concept here). You can confirm yourself endlessly and enjoy the peace, security and stability that brings. Or you can challenge yourself endlessly and enjoy the learning, uncertainty and growth that brings. Moving and living to an unfamiliar place is the latter.
And to be contentious about it - believing in the Bible LITERALLY - is the former.
Your children are growing and learning. Why not you too ? Learn with your children in this new multi-racial life in a foreign land alien to you all. See your days as exciting opportunity to conquer the alien life. How much of your soul will return to the U.S. as Korean ? How much of your home can become East-Asian ? (not South East Asian).
Moving to the U.S. was an eye opener for me. I could indeed survive without the friends, the support system, the volunteer work, the scrapping buddies and the day to day life. Life was intense. Sometimes intensely lonely, but once you look that lonliness in the eye, it isn't quite that bad. It's liberatiing really, and there's a gift of time that goes with it. Indeed that is part of what built my perspectives of friends in general, which we've already conversed about over Skype.
Still, being a mother to young uns, I may feel a greater and more insatiable need for intelligent adult company... and being in Korea would make that require a lot more effort and patience.
Bottom line, I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat. (After some packing and planning of course).