Ok, I need to learn to take it easy on myself. I put so much pressure on myself to do things and do them right, that I end up making things into such a big deal and procrastinating and then just getting overwhelmed. That leads to me not doing anything and then getting mad at myself for that! And then of course I take it out on others, most the kids, mostly Maya because she's older. Then I get them into bed and start to really hate myself for what a bad mother I have become. Don't get me wrong, I don't abuse them or anything like that, but I'm not "the best mom in the world", even though Maya still says it. She's such a forgiving child. I don't know where she learned that from, certainly not from me. I hope she keeps it up though, it is much easier going through life forgiving and letting things go than holding on to them like I do.
Ok, gotta go. Kids need me.